Kalli felt dissociated during delivery due to her fear of blood and struggled when she didn't feel reassured after birth.

Transcript

I really think that after my child’s birth, like, literally, like, as, like, once he came out, I didn’t feel that sensation of, like, “ah, my baby!” Like, that excitement. And I think because so much was happening while I was giving birth and, like I said, I was also – I’ve always kind of been scared of birth in general. I didn’t want to see the blood. I didn’t want to see what they were doing by my knees. Like, so I was just looking up at the ceiling. Like, really, like, almost, like, disassociating from the experience as a whole. And once I, once I delivered him I wanted to look at my husband and see – and I was expecting that perhaps he would be happy, he would be crying, and I looked at him and he had this face that was like, he looked terrified, he looked angry. And I was just like, oh, that’s not what I was expecting. And I was kind of half hoping that with whatever emotion he had on his face that that would have reassured me to, oh, it could be like, everything was OK. You know? But I knew that from the look on his face that things were not OK.

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